Flamestar and Shademist's Warriors Talk Show
by The Flame of Night
Summary: Flamestar and Shademist have returned as talk show hosts. Watch them interview the Warriors! There will be fun and laughter! There will be fights and insults! There will be... Spottedleaf? Rated T for violence, possible randomness and coarse language.
1. Sandstorm and Spottedleaf

**It's been a while…**

**Flamestar and Shademist have returned as talk show hosts! Written in script form because I'm too lazy to use proper punctuation.**

Flamestar and Shademist sat on two piles of moss that had been shaped into chairs. Between them, sat a log for the guests to sit on.

Flamestar: Hello to all the Clan and Tribe cats, rogues, loners, kittypets and twolegs out there! Welcome to the first episode of my talk show!

Shademist: *clears throat* _Our_ talk show, you mean.

Flamestar: Excuse me, but who is the leader here?

Shademist: Not you. Bramblestar is the leader of ThunderClan.

Flamestar:…

Shademist: Why do you have 'star' on the end of your name when you aren't a leader?

Flamestar:.. I am now leader of StormClan, named after our talented, handsome producer Stormclaw!

Stormclaw: Thank you.

Shademist: That's not even a real Clan!

Flamestar: Shut up. Now, here are our first two guests! From ThunderClan, the amazing Sandstorm!

Shademist: And from… somewhere, we have… Spottedleaf? I thought she faded..

_Sandstorm and Spottedleaf walk out from opposite ends of the clearing and sit on the log, as far away from each other as possible. Spottedleaf is beaming and waving at the crowd, while Sandstorm just looks bored._

Spottedleaf: It's great to be here!

Sandstorm: It would be great if you weren't here.

Spottedleaf: My life would be great if you weren't here.

Sandstorm: What life? You died twice.

Flamestar: Okay! It's time for questions from the audience!

_A dark brown tabby tom with amber eyes stands up. He is holding a starry, flame-pelted tom._

Bramblestar: Uh. I have Firestar here, do you want him?

_Spottedleaf starts drooling._

Spottedleaf: Give that sexy hunk of cat to me! I NEED HIM TO FULFILL MY FANTASIES AND DESIRES!

_Everyone stares at Spottedleaf._

_Sandstorm looks both creeped out and annoyed._

Sandstorm: Bramblestar, I think you should hold onto him for now.

Shademist: Next… question?

_A dark ginger she-cat with one white paw stands from beside Bramblestar._

Squirrelflight: Spottedleaf, why did you keep stalking Firestar?

Spottedleaf: Because I LOVE HIM!

Sandstorm: At least the feeling isn't mutual.

Spottedleaf: HE LOVES ME!

Firestar: Not really…

Sandstorm: Why would he love a creepy stalker like you?

Spottedleaf: WHO ARE YOU CALLING A CREEPY STALKER?!

Sandstorm: … You?

Spottedleaf: Why you little foxdung…

Flamestar: Fight! Fight! Fight!

_The audience joins in, yelling Fight! Fight! Fight!_

_Lionblaze walks out, holding a bunch of flags._

Lionblaze: Get your Team Sandstorm or Team Spottedleaf flags here!

_Spottedleaf leaps at Sandstorm, who dodges the attack._

_Sandstorm then turns and pins Spottedleaf down._

Bramblestar: I wonder who will win?

Squirrelflight: There's no question. My mother is gonna kick Spotty's sorry ass.

_Sandstorm repeatedly bashes Spottedleaf's head into the ground until she begs for mercy._

Sandstorm: That was easy. What would happen if I killed her a third time…

Flamestar: And we're out of time!

Shademist: But—

Flamestar: Catch you next time!

_The audience cheers as Amberpaw, Snowpaw and Dewpaw drag the crying Spottedleaf out of the clearing._

**Read and Review, please.**


	2. Silverstream and Millie

Just to clarify, here are the descriptions of the four OC's in the story.

Flamestar- Flame-pelted she cat with a lighter underbelly and paws. She has light green eyes.  
>Shademist- Dark grey tabby she cat with faint markings. Has amber eyes. Sister to Stormclaw.<br>Stormclaw- Fluffy grey tabby tom with green eyes. Brother to Shademist.  
>Sparrowflight: Light brown tabby tom with pale markings, a white underbelly, paws, muzzle and tail-tip. Has light blue eyes.<p>

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><p>Flamestar: Shademist, get outta my seat!<p>

Shademist: You had this seat last time!

Flamestar: Yes, because it's _my seat._

Shademist: I want it!

Flamestar: Stop acting like a kit!

_A grey tabby tom with green eyes hisses at the bickering she-cats._

Stormclaw: Flamestar, Shademist! We're live. Honestly, you two are worse than Spottedleaf and Sandstorm were!

_Flamestar looks embarrassed, whereas Shademist makes a face at Stormclaw._

Flamestar: Hello to all the Clan and Tribe cats, rogues, loners, kittypets and twolegs out there! Welcome to the SECOND episode of my talk show!

_Shademist glares at Flamestar._

Flamestar: Today, our guests will be Silverstream and Millie! Give them a warm welcome!

_The RiverClan cats cheer, and some of the ThunderClan cats join in as the she-cats take a seat on the log._

Silverstream: Hi! Thank you for having me on the show!

Flamestar: No problem!

Millie: I need to get back to Briarlight!

_From the audience, a mottled grey tabby tom with blind blue eyes yells out to the cats in the clearing._

Jayfeather: For the last time Millie, Briarlight is fine! You're making her worse by constantly hovering over her.

Millie: She's my kit!

_A tortoiseshell she-cat with white patches mutters from her place beside a light grey tom with black stripes._

Blossomfall: So are we. Or have you forgotten that…

Flamestar: Enough. Time for audience questions!

_A snowy white tom stands up, his ears twitching._

Cloudtail: Who do you think Graystripe loved more?

Millie: Me!

Silverstream: Me.

Millie: Oh come on! First love never lasts!

_A dappled she cat appears from an unknown location. _

Spottedleaf: That isn't true! Firestar loved me more!

_A starry, flame-pelted tom and a light ginger she-cat stand up, the she-cat's green eyes blazing._

Sandstorm: You better shut your mouth bitch, or I'll take a stick and shove it up your -

_She is cut off by a glare from Firestar._

Firestar: Spottedleaf, I've told you I'm not interested in you.

Spottedleaf: Why?!

Firestar: BECAUSE YOU'RE A CREEPY STALKER!

Spottedleaf: B-but…

Sandstorm: So I can shove the stick up her—

Flamestar: Shut up! Shut up all of you! THAT love triangle was last episode.

Shademist: Yeah, get outta here Spottedleaf. And I apologize for Sandstorm, we can't control what she says.

_Sandstorm sits with her tail curled over her paws, muttering obscenities._

Flamestar: Anyway.

Millie: Graystripe loved me more.

Silverstream: No, he didn't.

Millie: Why did he become my mate after you died then?

Silverstream: Because he is a piece of _foxdung._ And so are you.

_The two she cats glare at each other, fur bristling._

Flamestar: I'll say, he certainly has a thing for silver tabbies.

_The angry glares turn on the flame-pelted she-cat, who shrinks down a little._

Flamestar: What? I was trying to break the tension there.

Shademist: It was going fine until you interrupted.

Flamestar: Interrupted?

Shademist: Yes, interrupted.

_Flamestar unsheathes her claws._

Flamestar: We're out of time.

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><p><em>As the Flamestar, Shademist, Stormclaw, Silverstream and Millie exit the clearing, a light brown and white tom with pale markings walks into the center.<em>

Sparrowflight: Tension! Will Spottedleaf ever get close to Firestar? Or will Sandstorm shove a stick somewhere where she shouldn't?  
>Will we ever find out who Graystripe loves more?<br>Will Flamestar and Shademist solve their issues?

Find out next time on Flamestar and Shademist's Warriors Talk Show!

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><p><strong>Read and Review please!<strong>


	3. Crowfeather and his three 'loves'

_A flame-pelted she-cat and a grey tabby tom padded into the clearing and sat in two mossy seats._

Flamestar: Hello to all the Clan and Tribe cats, rogues, loners, kittypets and twolegs out there! Welcome to Episode 3!

Stormclaw: Unfortunately Shademist has quit, so I'm the temporary co-host!

_The audience cheers for Stormclaw_

Flamestar: Today, instead of two cats on the show… We have four!

Stormclaw: Please welcome Leafpool, Feathertail, Nightcloud and Crowfeather!

_The crowd cheers for the she-cats, but fall silent as Crowfeather appears._

Leafpool: Hi!

Feathertail: Nice to see you!

Nightcloud: Hello.

_Crowfeather goes to sit on the log with the three she-cats, but is promptly pushed onto the floor by Feathertail._

Crowfeather: What did I do?

_The crowd boos._

Flamestar: Audience, ask questions!

_A golden-brown tabby tom stands up, his ears back in embarrassment._

Brackenfur: Crowfeather… Who do you really love?

Crowfeather: Um… Nightcloud!

_He receives angry glares_

Crowfeather: I mean Leafpool!

_Growls are heard._

Crowfeather: Feathertail!

Feathertail: Girls, I say we should beat him up.

Nightcloud: Yeah! Let's get him!

_Leafpool looks hesitant, however she attacks Crowfeather._

_Feathertail and Nightcloud join in, until the tom is covered in scratches._

Crowfeather: Please, stop!

Flamestar: Don't kill him… yet.

Stormclaw: We'll need him for the Christmas Special.

_Crowfeather is dragged away by Amberpaw, Snowpaw, and Dewpaw._

Flamestar: Any questions for the she-cats?

_The crowd is silent._

Stormclaw: Well, what do you suggest we do now?

_Flamestar smirks, and pulls out a long twoleg item. She presses a button near her seat, and water sprays out of the thing._

_The RiverClan cats squeal in delight, while the other Clans run and hide._

Flamestar: Scared of a little water? Kittypets.

_Stormclaw grabs the hose and turns it on Flamestar, who screams and dashes up the nearest tree._

Stormclaw: Well, I guess we're out of time.

_A brown and white tom pads into the clearing, stepping over the happy RiverClan cats._

Sparrowflight: I said last episode that we would find out what happens between Firestar, Spottedleaf, and Sandstorm. I lied!

Maybe find out next time, maybe not.

But only on Flamestar and… Stormclaw's Warriors Talk Show!

**Read and Review please.**


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